There are few things in my life that have been "an honor." Yes, I've been recognized in school or for a few things I've done as an adult. But to truly be given an honor is another thing all together. However, the last six months have been the biggest honor I can ever imagine, culminating with three weeks of love, laughter, and ultimately, joyous pain. I was able to help my Mom finish her "walk Home."
Four years ago, mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. God was good and the tumor was found when it was very small and with a huge surgical procedure, the tumor was removed. Then we waited. About two weeks later we got the call that of all of the lymph nodes that were removed with the tumor, one had cancer cells in it. Thus we knew that the cancer would return, someday. Mom lived a relatively problem-free life for a woman in her early 80's. She was very arthritic which caused her a lot of pain, but overall, she was pretty healthy. She had checkups with her surgeon every six months and those visits continued to be cancer free. Until December 2017. Her pre-office visit CT scan showed that there were two tumors in her liver. (We knew that the liver was the most likely place for that diseased lymph node to send it's cancerous cells.) She was beginning the final stretch of her walk "Home."
We started 2018 with Mom still feeling okay, but she was beginning to lose weight. Weight loss was the #1 thing we had been told to watch for as it would indicate that the cancer was going to win the battle. One pound down, three pounds, five or six in a month. But the numbers on the scale started winning the downhill race, and the more she lost, the worse she felt. Her strength was being sapped, and the errant cells were obviously spreading. I did my best to get her to eat, until it became obvious that she just couldn't get much down. What she did eat I tried to make high calorie, but even that became redundant. Cancer was winning, she was getting farther down that path towards "Home."
We had lots of talks during the eleven months that Mom was declining. Talks about what she wanted in regards to her funeral, talks about legal things I needed to check on, and lots of talks about what I was going to do. She was so concerned about me being thrust into "aloneness." Would I shut myself in and become a crazy old lady with a cat and a taser? Or would I be able to get back in the saddle and keep myself busy with ministry and friends and family? She was so concerned, and I kept assuring her I would be OK. I just wanted to walk along side her as she headed "Home."
In September, my sister-in-law and niece began coming to stay for a day or two each week to help and to give me a little emotional break. You see, two years ago, my brother and only sibling died from pancreatic cancer. Since we had long ago dropped the "in-law" from Sue's family designation, she was simply my sister and Mom's daughter. As such, she felt the need to be here to help me as we walked Mom "Home."
Just as Fall was erasing all vestiges of summer, Mom was also losing the precious glimmer of her earthly life. Hospice brought in a hospital bed so that she could be in the middle of our daily living. But as the days went on, she lost interest and so we just sat with her and tried to tell her how much we loved her. We cared for her physical needs, we made sure she was as comfortable as possible, and we prayed that God would take her "Home."
On the morning of November 2, it was obvious that the end was near. She was at peace and there was no evidence that there was anything else she needed from us but to hold her hand and wait with her. My cousin came for lunch, none of knowing that she was to be there to share in those last treasured moments. At about 12:30pm, Mom's breathing became quite labored, so I called hospice and they sent a nurse to assess her. Terri arrived, did her assessment and told us that she was very near death. The four of us held hands with Mom and prayed, and as the amen was said, she quietly slipped from earth into the glory of Heaven. She was finally "Home."
You may wonder about my use of the word "Home." In October of 1975, Mom made a decision to accept the free gift of eternal life by placing her trust in Jesus Christ. John 3:16 says, "For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life." She placed her soul in the hands of the only One who could save her from a life that would end in eternal Hell. And her one desire from that day was that everyone would make that same decision.
And so, on November 2, 2018, at 1:07pm, she finished her walk Home and joined her Savior in the eternity of Heaven. She left her cancer-ridden body and took her next breath in the sweet air of God's presence. I miss her terribly, but because I too have placed my trust in Christ, I know that when my days here are done, I will join her in our eternal home. I will never forget those last days, and will always be glad that I was chosen before the world began to be there with my mom and have the honor of "walking her Home."
Showing posts with label Jesus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jesus. Show all posts
Monday, November 19, 2018
Friday, November 3, 2017
The Strongest Women I Know
I have come to understand that I live in the presence of two of the strongest women on the planet. Women who have faced incredible circumstances, things that might crush the average human, and come out on the other side, not unscathed, but with an amazing faith and dignity.
The first of these women is my mother. Yes, I know, most all of us think our moms are Wonder Woman and Jaime Sommers (The Six-Million Dollar Woman) rolled up in one person. And I'm sure that you can give me multiple reasons why your mom fits the bill. Let me tell you about mine.
My mom is eighty-four years old. She raised two kids, worked a full-time job and still got dinner on the table and showed up at my choir concerts and my brother's sporting events, and then was widowed at age seventy-seven. With the exception of arthritis, she has always been in a general state of good health. I mean, how many eighty-four year old people do you know who only have two prescriptions to take each day? So, when on a routine Saturday in August 2014, she suddenly turned a pumpkin-ish yellow, I knew we had a problem. Several tests and an admission to the hospital later, we heard the words nobody wants to hear, "You have cancer." Cancer of the Pancreas to be exact. If you know anything about Pancreatic cancer, you know that the general rule is that by the time you are sick enough to be diagnosed, it's too late. (Ironically, her dad had died of pancreatic cancer. Although we had no idea then, this is now considered a possibly familial disease.) She was transferred to a larger hospital where there was specialist in this particular disease. He didn't pull any punches, told us the risks and the potential outcome. The only good news was that the tumor was small and in a place that was surgically accessible via a monstrous operation called a "Whipple." (Sounds friendly, huh? Well, it's not! Look it up.)
My brother and sister-in-law and I sent her off to surgery, praying we would get her back alive and "well." The post-op report was that the tumor was in a place that IF you were going to have this awful cancer, you would want it to be right there. The pathology report showed that only one lymph node was cancerous, which was another good sign. With the original tumor removed and only one positive lymph node, it was possible that all of the cancer had been removed. It was also possible that the cancer had already sent it's deadly cells out and that there would be a secondary diagnosis sometime soon. Fast forward three and a half years and she is still cancer-free! My hope is that she will die of natural causes before any of those ugly cells pop up somewhere.
Just over a month ago, and just to show that her status as a superhero was intact, she once again tested the waters by taking an awful fall. She whacked the back of her head hard enough to make her brain bleed. For those of you with no medical inclination, this is not a good thing. Once again, we went to our local hospital and she was quickly transferred to the same "bigger" hospital for care by a neurosurgeon. The bleeding stopped and for two days, we waited to see if she was in the clear. She came home and she spent four days trying to regain her strength. One week after the fall, mom developed a horrible headache and I loaded her up for another visit to the Emergency Room. The diagnosis this time was that there was fluid building up in her skull and that it needed the attention of the neurosurgeon again. So, off she went to have care by someone who was skilled in matters of the brain. By the next morning, said physician told us that he felt surgery was warranted because the swelling would likely end up causing a stroke or worse. Just an hour later she was having two burr holes drilled into her skull to relieve the pressure! Mind you, this is the same eight-four year old woman who is thus far beating cancer. Three days after surgery, she once again came home to recover. (And miraculously, two weeks later her CT scan showed that not only was the fluid and blood gone, except for two holes in her skull, there was no evidence that there had ever been a brain bleed!) Today she still struggles with some of the problems associated with an aged, arthritic body crashing to the ground, but her neurological status is A #1.
Woman #2 on my list is my sister-in-law. She is stronger that she will ever understand and yet she is such a gentle soul. She married my brother at age 18, barely out of high school and coming from a home with not much training on how to be a good wife and mom. But, she loved my brother and he adored her, so they made a home and started learning how to "do" marriage together. For thirty-six years they made that marriage one that wasn't always perfect, but was filled with love and laughter...and four kids!
She was a "stay-at-home mom" and also home schooled her kids, two things that send an awful lot of mothers into a hysterical panic now days. She pulled this feat off while being married to a guy who moved her multiple times, once to a far away state where she had no family to help in times of difficulty. But she stood strong and went wherever he led.
Just to make her life more interesting, in her mid twenties, she was diagnosed with Myasthenia Gravis, a neuromuscular disease which attacks muscle and can become terribly debilitating, and some times fatal. So now she has two small children and a muscle disease that would make her legs fold up under her, or suddenly mess with her vision, or one of several other fun issues that made life difficult, let alone the fact that she was trying to care for kids and keep her home intact. Thankfully, after several years of pills that helped some but not enough, she found a doctor who put her on a medicine that gave her real control over her symptoms.
In 1989, with three boys under 10, she gave birth to a beautiful little girl who as a toddler began to show signs that there was a misfire somewhere in her brain. Our sweet girl was going to be mom's lifelong partner because of something that wasn't wired quite right. She is learning disabled, and has other cognative problems that will never allow her to live independently. (So, it sounds like she is really qualifying for Wonder Woman status to me.)
But then, after raising her three boys to adulthood and sending them off to college and work; after living with a neuromuscular disease for more than 20 years; after raising a disabled child, life took a huge turn and she suddenly became a pastor's wife. My brother had worked as an manufacturing engineer for years, but with a desire to preach and pastor a church always in his heart. Off they went to a VERY small town and a VERY small church and for five years he pastored and preached and fulfilled that heartfelt desire. She learned to love their small congregation and was an exemplary pastor's wife.
Just as life seemed to be settled into one that would be their lifelong commitment, my brother heard the words "You have cancer" but his came with the addendum, "It is too late." He went through treatment that only offered possible pain management, which it really didn't give, and eight months later, my quiet, unassuming pastor's wife of a sister-in-law, was a widow. A fifty-six year old widow with a twenty-seven year old "child" and no where to go. They had sold their last home and were living in the church parsonage. She had to figure out where to go and what to do once she got there. She found the house back "home" that she and my niece are now living in and it seemed things were going to quiet down for them.
Then once again, life took an unexpected turn and because of a tragic marital breakup, my sister-in-law became a "mamaw extraordinaire" and began to help keep three of her grandchildren from coming totally unwound because of the breakup up their home. She babysits the two littlest ones, gets the oldest through first-grade homework and made sure that the house my nephew bought became a home for them all.
I tell you the story of these two dynamic women because they have one thing in common, the thing that makes their earthly superhero status possible - they both depend on the strength of God to get them through each event, each day, each moment. Both of them claim the Biblical promise that putting their faith in Jesus Christ gives them the promise of eternity in Heaven, thus assuring them that even in the most difficult trials, in the darkest days, they can garner strength from the Giver of all strength. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that without Jesus, neither of them would be able to tell you why they are where they are today. God gives the strength, they give honor and testimony to His gift.
I am so thankful to know that I am in the presence of something really special when I am with these two women. I praise God that because I too know the God of all strength, and believe in the Son he sent to save me, we will all keep on making it through the obstacles and laughing at the victories. And that one day we will live together in Heaven, free of the earthly struggles and surrounded by saints who have also fought the good fight and were super men or women to those who loved them.
The first of these women is my mother. Yes, I know, most all of us think our moms are Wonder Woman and Jaime Sommers (The Six-Million Dollar Woman) rolled up in one person. And I'm sure that you can give me multiple reasons why your mom fits the bill. Let me tell you about mine.
My mom is eighty-four years old. She raised two kids, worked a full-time job and still got dinner on the table and showed up at my choir concerts and my brother's sporting events, and then was widowed at age seventy-seven. With the exception of arthritis, she has always been in a general state of good health. I mean, how many eighty-four year old people do you know who only have two prescriptions to take each day? So, when on a routine Saturday in August 2014, she suddenly turned a pumpkin-ish yellow, I knew we had a problem. Several tests and an admission to the hospital later, we heard the words nobody wants to hear, "You have cancer." Cancer of the Pancreas to be exact. If you know anything about Pancreatic cancer, you know that the general rule is that by the time you are sick enough to be diagnosed, it's too late. (Ironically, her dad had died of pancreatic cancer. Although we had no idea then, this is now considered a possibly familial disease.) She was transferred to a larger hospital where there was specialist in this particular disease. He didn't pull any punches, told us the risks and the potential outcome. The only good news was that the tumor was small and in a place that was surgically accessible via a monstrous operation called a "Whipple." (Sounds friendly, huh? Well, it's not! Look it up.)
My brother and sister-in-law and I sent her off to surgery, praying we would get her back alive and "well." The post-op report was that the tumor was in a place that IF you were going to have this awful cancer, you would want it to be right there. The pathology report showed that only one lymph node was cancerous, which was another good sign. With the original tumor removed and only one positive lymph node, it was possible that all of the cancer had been removed. It was also possible that the cancer had already sent it's deadly cells out and that there would be a secondary diagnosis sometime soon. Fast forward three and a half years and she is still cancer-free! My hope is that she will die of natural causes before any of those ugly cells pop up somewhere.
Just over a month ago, and just to show that her status as a superhero was intact, she once again tested the waters by taking an awful fall. She whacked the back of her head hard enough to make her brain bleed. For those of you with no medical inclination, this is not a good thing. Once again, we went to our local hospital and she was quickly transferred to the same "bigger" hospital for care by a neurosurgeon. The bleeding stopped and for two days, we waited to see if she was in the clear. She came home and she spent four days trying to regain her strength. One week after the fall, mom developed a horrible headache and I loaded her up for another visit to the Emergency Room. The diagnosis this time was that there was fluid building up in her skull and that it needed the attention of the neurosurgeon again. So, off she went to have care by someone who was skilled in matters of the brain. By the next morning, said physician told us that he felt surgery was warranted because the swelling would likely end up causing a stroke or worse. Just an hour later she was having two burr holes drilled into her skull to relieve the pressure! Mind you, this is the same eight-four year old woman who is thus far beating cancer. Three days after surgery, she once again came home to recover. (And miraculously, two weeks later her CT scan showed that not only was the fluid and blood gone, except for two holes in her skull, there was no evidence that there had ever been a brain bleed!) Today she still struggles with some of the problems associated with an aged, arthritic body crashing to the ground, but her neurological status is A #1.
Woman #2 on my list is my sister-in-law. She is stronger that she will ever understand and yet she is such a gentle soul. She married my brother at age 18, barely out of high school and coming from a home with not much training on how to be a good wife and mom. But, she loved my brother and he adored her, so they made a home and started learning how to "do" marriage together. For thirty-six years they made that marriage one that wasn't always perfect, but was filled with love and laughter...and four kids!
She was a "stay-at-home mom" and also home schooled her kids, two things that send an awful lot of mothers into a hysterical panic now days. She pulled this feat off while being married to a guy who moved her multiple times, once to a far away state where she had no family to help in times of difficulty. But she stood strong and went wherever he led.
Just to make her life more interesting, in her mid twenties, she was diagnosed with Myasthenia Gravis, a neuromuscular disease which attacks muscle and can become terribly debilitating, and some times fatal. So now she has two small children and a muscle disease that would make her legs fold up under her, or suddenly mess with her vision, or one of several other fun issues that made life difficult, let alone the fact that she was trying to care for kids and keep her home intact. Thankfully, after several years of pills that helped some but not enough, she found a doctor who put her on a medicine that gave her real control over her symptoms.
In 1989, with three boys under 10, she gave birth to a beautiful little girl who as a toddler began to show signs that there was a misfire somewhere in her brain. Our sweet girl was going to be mom's lifelong partner because of something that wasn't wired quite right. She is learning disabled, and has other cognative problems that will never allow her to live independently. (So, it sounds like she is really qualifying for Wonder Woman status to me.)
But then, after raising her three boys to adulthood and sending them off to college and work; after living with a neuromuscular disease for more than 20 years; after raising a disabled child, life took a huge turn and she suddenly became a pastor's wife. My brother had worked as an manufacturing engineer for years, but with a desire to preach and pastor a church always in his heart. Off they went to a VERY small town and a VERY small church and for five years he pastored and preached and fulfilled that heartfelt desire. She learned to love their small congregation and was an exemplary pastor's wife.
Just as life seemed to be settled into one that would be their lifelong commitment, my brother heard the words "You have cancer" but his came with the addendum, "It is too late." He went through treatment that only offered possible pain management, which it really didn't give, and eight months later, my quiet, unassuming pastor's wife of a sister-in-law, was a widow. A fifty-six year old widow with a twenty-seven year old "child" and no where to go. They had sold their last home and were living in the church parsonage. She had to figure out where to go and what to do once she got there. She found the house back "home" that she and my niece are now living in and it seemed things were going to quiet down for them.
Then once again, life took an unexpected turn and because of a tragic marital breakup, my sister-in-law became a "mamaw extraordinaire" and began to help keep three of her grandchildren from coming totally unwound because of the breakup up their home. She babysits the two littlest ones, gets the oldest through first-grade homework and made sure that the house my nephew bought became a home for them all.
I tell you the story of these two dynamic women because they have one thing in common, the thing that makes their earthly superhero status possible - they both depend on the strength of God to get them through each event, each day, each moment. Both of them claim the Biblical promise that putting their faith in Jesus Christ gives them the promise of eternity in Heaven, thus assuring them that even in the most difficult trials, in the darkest days, they can garner strength from the Giver of all strength. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that without Jesus, neither of them would be able to tell you why they are where they are today. God gives the strength, they give honor and testimony to His gift.
I am so thankful to know that I am in the presence of something really special when I am with these two women. I praise God that because I too know the God of all strength, and believe in the Son he sent to save me, we will all keep on making it through the obstacles and laughing at the victories. And that one day we will live together in Heaven, free of the earthly struggles and surrounded by saints who have also fought the good fight and were super men or women to those who loved them.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)